It just hit me...

My sweet baby has been 1 for a little while now and, although we are loving this age, I can't help but also feel sad about it. Although im thrilled that he is growing I've been reliving all of those precious past moments, Broderick has shared with us, by going through my pregnancy journal and reading all of the monthly updates on our blog. These are memories he will never remember but i will treasure for ever.
I remember how thrilled Mike and I were when we heard his little heart beat for the first time. This experience made it so real for the both of us. we were actually going to have a baby! On our first ultrasound session (i was 15 weeks into the pregnancy) the doctor predicted that we were in fact pregnant with a boy and although Mike didn't believe it i was so sure of it. I always wanted to start out with a boy and i was thrilled about it.
I was so anxious through out my pregnancy anticipating his arrival and i remember feeling so much love and joy when he was placed in my arms for the first time. I remember thinking how perfect and beautiful he was and promising that i would always love and take care of him.
I also remember being released from the hospital and feeling terrified and overwhelmed. How were we to keep this fragile little baby alive?
At home, the first couple of weeks were a little hard trying to adjust to our new lives. I remember feeling sad that he was no longer inside of me. I know that sounds strange but i felt empty inside. This whole time i was so anxious to meet him and now that i had him, i wanted him to be put back in me...Well really I wanted to hold him in my arms and kiss him but at the same time i wanted him inside of me hick-upping and kicking. I remember crying every time i would touch my tummy or look at my self in the mirror realizing once again that he was no longer in there.
I remember feeling so sleep deprived and fatigued the first couple of weeks wishing and praying for some shut eye. And as the months went by, i remember thinking each time one month passed by, how fast time was going. every one tells you that the first year goes by really fast but i guess i had no idea how fast they meant when they would tell me that. I feel so blessed to have him. he is our pride and joy and our every thought and prayer involves him.

Since i never got around to posting pics of Broderick's 1st B-day here are a few of that special day: